


Losing My Religion

by Black_Eagle



Series: Good ol' angst [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Chapter Two:, Darkness rises, How did it affect Michael?, How isn't that a tag people c'mon, Hurt Michael (Supernatural), Lucifer knows how to take advantage of something, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Raphael's death, Sad Michael, Season/Series 06, Season/Series 11, Smart Lucifer, and all that, i am disAPPOINTED
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-04 14:26:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15843162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Black_Eagle/pseuds/Black_Eagle
Summary: My take on Michael's reactions to the loss of his siblings.





	1. Reason to Fight (Not Anymore)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this on a post in Tumblr so... Yeah.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Death of Raphael

_“Raphael…”_

What happened? Michael had no idea. One moment, he was sitting in his corner of the Cage, fighting with everything he got in his mind, keeping the Cage from getting into him

He had to fight, he had to stay sane, and he had to do it for heaven, for God, for Raphael… He had to find a way out, he had to go back home. They needed him, he knew it. He knew Heaven would tear itself apart in a civil war without him. He knew he was the only one that could keep Heaven together.

Not the only one that could do it, no. But he would be the only one that bothered to do it. If God didn’t show for the end of the Plan, why would he show for the well-being of Heaven? Thinking about it, God was to blame for what has happened to their family. It had been more than a century in Hell, and Michael had a lot of time to think. Could he really blame Lucifer for what he did if Free Will was an illusion? If there was Free Will, then why was Lucifer punished?

It made no sense. And Michael had learned to blame God. He was still a good son, and one day, he would accomplish his mission, but when the fight finally happens, Michael won’t blame Lucifer. He will blame God.

Then it happened. All the fighting he was putting, all the thought that passed through his mind… They all stopped.

There was fear first. Not his own, no. It belonged to his beloved sibling. His heart stopped for a moment, then there was pain. Again, it was from them.

Michael’s own pain blended into Raphael’s.

“Raphael…” the word choked him.

His heart just _hurt,_ and he didn’t even notice his own screaming until his throat was sore from it. He stopped; the pain, the fear, everything stopped. He leaned back against the wall of the Cage and closed his eyes.

He was done fighting.

What was to point of going back now? What was the point of staying sane? What was the point of surviving, even?

Revenge, maybe? Would it bring Raphael back?

Could anything bring Raphael back?

Yes, someone could. But would He?

It hurt Michael to know the answer.  Raphael was gone, and they weren’t coming back. Michael won’t be seeing them ever again. Michael won’t be able to feel their soft and electricity grace ever again.

He welcomed the idea of losing.

 Now, what was there any reason to fight left?

There was, but why would he bother? Did their creator bother? No, He didn’t. Michael’s name did mean “He who is as God” after all.

The fight was done.

And so was Michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon that Michael went insane over Raphael's Death! No? Okay.


	2. Cracks along the Walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rise of Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, look I wrote it! For you, you know who you are ;-)

 It hasn’t been that long since Raphael died. Maybe it has, Michael doesn’t know. He used to be able to keep the track of time perfectly, without missing a second; and he was able to know the time in every plane of existence but now everything’s become blurry to him.

Somewhere in his mind, Heaven’s General still knows everything that’s happening outside of the cage. Every death, every broken wing… The power of Heaven, the tortured souls in Hell… He still could hear the stars breathing. He could hear every single heartbeat. He is a nearly omnipotent, multi-dimensional being after all. But that part of him has been locked away in his mind, buried so deep not even Michael himself could find it.

In his mind, Michael is still the first Prince of Heaven. But on the outside, he is a broken mess. A shadow of what he once was. His wings are burnt by hell’s cruel flames, his grace is shattered. His body is still usable, but the real owner of the body was destroyed by know. The soul of the poor boy, it was everywhere in the cage. There is nothing left of him. Michael had begged Death to take Adam out as well when he came for Sam, but Death had ignored him…

There is a small spark left in him, it still burned with passion. It sometimes flared up, and even though Michael has long lost to ability o think clearly, he just knows the source of the rage that makes his grace flare-up is Gabriel’s pain. If he could just focus, he would know what was happening to his golden-winged baby brother.

He felt a… discomfort in his arm a while ago. He knew what it was, but he wasn’t able to dig deep enough to be aware of that information. It was buried away, just like everything else. There was a small whisper that fell from his lips, though.

“Dean…”

Later on, he felt a pain in his chest. He stopped breathing, he didn’t need to anyway. A rush of power, and he felt corrupted for the first time in his long life. His other half… His true vessel, he was… Michael didn’t know.

A little time passed. Maybe it was too much. Michael had stopped caring a long time ago. He heard the thunder, a thunder he would never want to hear again. He felt its power, it filled Hell first; and to Michael’s surprise, it kept rising. He knew what it was, and he didn’t even need to search for it.

The Darkness was free once again. Her power shook the creation in a way only Michael and his siblings could feel. It, no, _she_ was free from her cage at last, and somehow he knew she would avenge the betrayal. God’s world was no longer safe from the Evil.

But the corruption… it was gone.

“Dean what have you done..?” he whispered again. For the first time since Raphael’s death, Michael could _think_ again.

He rises from where he has been sitting for centuries, and that little spark grows strong enough to shake Hell with power. He slams his hands to the walls of the cage and screams. It isn’t a pained scream, it is a battle cry. The walls crack slowly, but not nearly enough for him to escape.

His heart feels heavy on his chest. He falls on his knees, and what he had back for a moment is gone. He buries everything once again.

From the other corner of the cage, Lucifer smiles.

  _Oh, this is perfect._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are soul food as usual!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are soul food!


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